My teal locks had grown unruly and so did my soul. I yearned for change; I yearned for me. The nights were silent, but inside I was screaming; gasping for air. Eyes closed I saw myself drowning. Lungs filled with water. Grasping for the surface. I grew up neat the ocean. An infinity for the sea, I never feared drowning as much as I should have. But this drowning was foreign, different than I had never known. The light slowly disappeared along with my passion, my excitement, and my life. Darkness engulfed. A loveless relationship, a falling out with myself and my partner. A haircut was to be the declaration of me. Breathing life back into my soul with a single snip. As the hair fell to the ground, every strand a beat of a drum that grew louder and louder as boisterous as the woman I once loved and longed would return. My burdens, my fears, my hate falling with such dedication and commitment. I reclaimed myself. As I gazed into the mirror I was no longer the shadow that sat down, for it was me again. Little had I known that such a renaissance would mean sacrificing a love I believed to be true. My partner, blinded by what little innocence remained within me whom I thought loved me, did not agree with such destruction of my flowing waves of teal and neither did his birther. Lesbian haircut it was labeled; an embarrassment I was now. Thrown out and residing in a hotel where the money for my future was lost in 5 minutes for a single bed and nights of endless thai delivery, pay per view, and hours of tearful regrets sitting beneath the cascade of luke warm water, I became lost. I had to become lost to become found. My Lesbian haircut led to a self discovery. Led me back to me but also a new me. Full of more love and passion than ever before. And now this once hated lesbian haircut has redeemed what parts of me I thought were lost in the abyss.