Holiday Hoe Down

It  began with a vagina shaped and intricately decorated sugar cookie and ended last night over a revolting bottle of Pimms. My uncle, for being the adulterous man he is, is disgusted by the female anatomy; therefore, like any niece I took my beloved vagina sugar cookie and rubbed the icing-ed clitoris all over his … More Holiday Hoe Down

The Swing

I remember vividly the last time I was on a swing.  It was on a warm summer’s eve cloaked in the velvet darkness.  My heart beat was ferocious.  Perhaps it was due to the company I kept, tall Scottish and male or the fear of being captured by the local police for being in the … More The Swing

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I listened to every fading breath of my great grandmother as she spoke to me about her dreams and aspirations.  She wanted to be a nurse.  To save lives.  Practice medicine.  She never had that opportunity and I saw the regret in her eyes as she succumbed to death having been indentured by the standards … More 25

Fill ‘er Up

It was a typical Saturday morning. I sat worshiping my breakfast; a delicious book and a pumpkin cream smoothie milkshake thing so wonderful that the whipped cream piled atop this mountain of exquisiteness had consumed my face in a Santa disguise.  I sat surrounded by this years newest trends, Rain X Weatherbeater 16″ blades, H Speed Rating Michelin … More Fill ‘er Up