Holiday Hoe Down

It  began with a vagina shaped and intricately decorated sugar cookie and ended last night over a revolting bottle of Pimms. My uncle, for being the adulterous man he is, is disgusted by the female anatomy; therefore, like any niece I took my beloved vagina sugar cookie and rubbed the icing-ed clitoris all over his … More Holiday Hoe Down

The Swing

I remember vividly the last time I was on a swing.  It was on a warm summer’s eve cloaked in the velvet darkness.  My heart beat was ferocious.  Perhaps it was due to the company I kept, tall Scottish and male or the fear of being captured by the local police for being in the … More The Swing


I listened to every fading breath of my great grandmother as she spoke to me about her dreams and aspirations.  She wanted to be a nurse.  To save lives.  Practice medicine.  She never had that opportunity and I saw the regret in her eyes as she succumbed to death having been indentured by the standards … More 25

Fill ‘er Up

It was a typical Saturday morning. I sat worshiping my breakfast; a delicious book and a pumpkin cream smoothie milkshake thing so wonderful that the whipped cream piled atop this mountain of exquisiteness had consumed my face in a Santa disguise.  I sat surrounded by this years newest trends, Rain X Weatherbeater 16″ blades, H Speed Rating Michelin … More Fill ‘er Up

The Stride of Pride

The Walk of Shame, the Stride of Pride… that moment of undeniable feeling of accomplishment or whatever we may call it on our way home from a night of mischief and orgasms is universal and transcendent through generations.  This was evident last night as I stumbled through the streets with my cousins trick or treating … More The Stride of Pride

Booze, Boobs, & Birth Control: Que dois-je écris?

Navigating the waters of blogging.  It seems as though one blogs about one thing and one thing only.  Cooking, Fashion, Travel, Lord of the Rings, and hence I entered into some confusion on how to blog, where to begin, where to focus.  Do I blog about my impeccable fashion or the vignettes I create or … More Booze, Boobs, & Birth Control: Que dois-je écris?